I am having a very bad time ..I don't know what to do , and so , I am away from blogging all this while !!In fact I am hating to blog , because it isn't helping me ! Nobody can , except for those few and damn , they are the reason for my pain ! I am so very upset , so very ...My career died one and half years back and now I was trying to focus on starting everything afresh , anew but ...The biggest problem ( or for that largest problem Indian girls face ! ) is my family opposition ..I am getting sick and tired of it ! Why do I always have to prove my point ! They are my family , then why the hell should I prove them EVERY TIME ? Cant they simply trust me or at least give me freedom of expression of my thoughts and desires ...SO what if I am not like them , it isn't my fault ! Damn man , sometimes , I just hate this ..I love my freedom a lot , more than anything in the world ! and probably that's why they feel happy and proud to keep me caged a dog , who should wag a tail at whatever they say ??? Disgusting ! I am a dog that will remain silent , and if you poke in too much would bite you !
And on top of all this , my best friend broke up with me !!! OMG ! What the hell is happening ..Ok I am not so much hurt for the break-pup but seething under rage for his silly misunderstanding which he don't even bothered to clarify !!! I tried to contact , but that bloody ( and I am getting all bad words ..because no one has ever hurt and broken my trust so much a shim ! ) sounds too busy and ignoring me ! Such a *%&^$#@!*. Ah , I no more believe that a guy and a gal can remain best friends ! No ...all that they can think is love !!! Damn ! Damn all those bloody minds who cant and don't know to maintain and have faith on friendship and friends !!
Everyday I get up , trying to forget my past , concentrating my present and future , but it hurts a lot ..I know this all shall pass , but these incidents have broken my strong faith on few things that I am deeply shattered ..Not a soul around me knows what I am going through ..To all them , I am their goody-goody friend , who is happy and crazy and kiddish ...And all are blind to see those invisible tears ! And they call themselves as my friends !
F**k yaar !! The world is nothing but a f***ing place ..All the people just use you for their purpose ! i have lost faith on relationship , any relationship for that matter !! I just hate it !! It make me feel as if I am an alien here !! Oh God , I know all this will get over , but please please help me !! I need you , though I know you are beside me ! I am just living clinging to the hope that everything will be soon end up , and you will make me stronger much more , and wont ditch me - making me feel lonely and alone !!